Parents problem. Won’t get a divorce?

They won’t get a divorce cause in the Asian culture, it’s really looked down on to be divorced. Also, they’re prob scared to get one (reasons are: financially, new lifestyle, drastic change, etc)

But in the past 10 years, they haven’t kissed, hugged, fucked (excuse my language), etc. I’ve practically forced my dad to buy flowers for my mom for special occasions.

They argue a lot (not all the time, but that’s just because they’re on separate computers). My dad makes all the money in this house and my mom is unemployed. So she’s insecure about that and he’s not makin it any better than her because he acts all high and mighty all the time. And they argue about me a lot. Sometimes, my attitude is the cause of the arguments (I get really annoyed when they try to control each other or control me).

And I feel like my family’s a lot better than other families because at least the parents are together legally still. And I feel like a brat for complaining so I never complain to my friends or to other people except for on yahoo answers cause you guys won’t remember this after answering the question.

thanks. I’d appreciate any input or advise.
I do talk to my parents about it. I tell my dad he’s too mean to my mom and I tell my mom she needs to talk to my dad in a calmer manner.

But they both think that the other person is at fault here.
Oh btw, I have an older brother too. He’s 19, I’m 17.

We don’t talk to each other. When we were little, we used to hate each other, but now we’re chill. He’s home from college for the summertime and he stays in his room all the time.

We don’t talk to each other, but we don’t argue anymore either.

Wow! that’s hard.. Same here with my family.. But do you want your parents divorced?? next time they argue call the police.

6 Responses to “Parents problem. Won’t get a divorce?”

  1. RuvimSavin says:

    Wow! that’s hard.. Same here with my family.. But do you want your parents divorced?? next time they argue call the police.
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  2. eagle of the south says:

    well sometimes cultures can be so wrong for people to live by there
    rules. i would get a divorce in just a min. and go on my way. find me
    a woman and start all over again. you should never let anything stand in your way of happiness and love. why stay with a person when you don’t love them. it would like someone keeping you in prison.
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  3. english-has says:

    I really sympathize with your situation and i understand how distressing this can be but it seems from what you’ve said that you have some influence over them and i think you should use that possibly sit them down together and tell them to please try and work it out for your and your brother’s sake. it seems your family is quite isolated between each other and i think unity could uplift morale. I also believe you should bond with your brother get him on your side and collectively bargain with your parents to try and work it out. I hope this helps
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  4. tash d says:

    im asian too and asian parents want their kids to go to college and get a good job . so maybe when you and your brother are older and stable you guys can take your mom so she can live with you and she won’t be worried that she wont have a job because you two will be there for her . as for your dad, it seems like he can manage on his own . you and your brother need to get along . it’s bad enough that your parents aren’t getting along . now don’t break the whole family . make sure theres a strong relationship between you and your brother . be the strong corner and help them get through this . email me if you want to chat because my parents went through the same thing except it wasn’t as big as yours seems . specialcre8ed16@yahoo.com or wonkasnrd@yahoo.com . i check both
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  5. BERNARD C says:

    Hi friend,
    It seems really "cold" in there at your home. When I say "cold", it means there is no warmth (as in emotion) at all within the family. It’s not really any big deal, since I’ve known families worse off than you. But it’s still a "cold, cold home". Sometimes quarrelling is actually healthy since it means that there are still "issues" to be resolved. It means as little as it’s already is, there is still care. What I’m most scared of is when the talking stop altogether. That’s what’s happening to you and that’s why I called your family a "cold, chilly home". My advise: Make time go faster so that when you reach 21, you can leave nest. Hopefully, your future relationships will not be as chilly as what you have at home.
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  6. iiiiii80 M says:

    Move on. you can’t fix their life; just offer them your support, and let them know you respect their decision to stay together.

    It is, after all, their life. You don’t need to live three lives– you don’t want to age for three people do ya? :-)

    love them; they are sticking it partially because they don’t want to stigmatize their family name / image / your respect.

    Asian culture has its spooks, but then so does every man-made culture.
    Many brothers are identical to yours in every culture. If he was aggresive, stay away from money matters w him.

    Give mom your time; talk to her, empathize and listen well.

    Overall, be a good son, get A-s, be independent from bro, give in charity too later on (Mom’s love that :-) .

    The best advice i can give you: study an eastern (Islam, Confucius) philosophy along with a western psychology/communication at your library.

    btw, i will too remember this question and my answer too!
    References :

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