Ever since I married things have been diff, I stress with the arrival of any holiday or occasion because I know that fights or misunderstanding with husband will happen. My first mothers day was the worst…I was expecting my husband to be lovable, flowers, kisses, I don’t know something special but all I got after asking "where are my roses"….was, you are not my mother…….and every holiday is the same thing…..he just wants to spend time with his family and all…..but all my family is here too. The only thing I look forward all year is my son’s birthday party….I plan it all year long to get over my depression that has been lingering for about 4 years now and can’t get rid of it. When I ask him to help with that issue all he say’s is…..it’s in your head….I just walk away to avoid a fight or allowing him to hurt me further……. how can I look forward to things again with out stressing, I used to plan and be excited on the holidays because of the family…..but know I hate them……is my depression getting worse without me noticing because every night when my husband comes home from the office I even get an upset stomach. Please give me a few tips to be able to survive this at least one day at a time or one holiday at a time. Thanks
Honestly your husband appears to be selfish, self-absorbed, and frankly creepy.
If a man loves you, he’s going to try and bend over backwards to make you happy. He should be doing whatever it is that you need to feel better not only about yourself, but your marriage.
From everything you’ve written, your marriage appears to be a one way street.
If you are finding yourself in this predicament because he can’t be good to you during the holidays that are meaningful to you, and if he can’t spend time with your family too; then there’s something wrong with him.
Selfishness comes to mind first. I could be wrong there.
The depression you’re going through appears to be your feeling unloved, disrespected and either ignored, taken advantage of or taken for granted.
If you want to feel better not only as a mom, but as a woman and as a wife, then you’re going to have to confront your husband about his behavior towards you. If he can’t change his behavior and start showing you some respect, love, affection and consideration then perhaps you two should not be married.
I hate to say this but if it keeps going like this you’re either going to be tempted to have an affair, or you’re just going to end up divorcing him.
Now there could be other factors in play here. Maybe he thinks you’re using him. Maybe. But there’s more to this on his side of the coin and so the two of you need to work it out.
You can try marriage counseling and see where that takes the two of you. But it seems to me he’s not being open to you, and you’re trying to be open to him and he’s shutting you out.
You are being overly dramatic. A ‘holiday’ is just another day that has been commercialized. Maybe you should work this out in therapy.
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You need to talk to you husband and face your problems life is too short to be living life unhappy. Your son deserves to have a happy mother. If your husband really loves you he will listen and try to make you feel better, change things or compromise. Plus you should be excited for your husband to come home and to see him hes supposed to be your life partner- so for you to get a upset stomach there is definitely something wrong. Good Luck.
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I mean this with all due care…could part of your depression be linked to the fact that you are married to a guy who walks around like the living dead?
He may have resentment because of your depression, and that’s turned him into a jerk. Or, you could be trying way too hard to accept life with a total jerk and this is making you increasingly depressed.
Are you happy at all when you are away from him? What about when you and your son are together without him?
I can relate. I freakin HATED holidays with my former husband because I was not the mother of his children and every holiday was all about the ex wife’s family and nothing to do with mine.
I have been divorced for 9 years, have been a LOT HAPPIER, and getting ready to get married later this year to a man who loves me the way I want to be loved. You deserve to have a happy life. You don’t have to struggle against his dead weight. I’d try counseling with him, and if that doesn’t help – split and move on, while jointly caring for your son.
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well the holidays and special times hate you. you are going to be alone the rest of your life and nothing will ever be right with you. how many men were driven insane by dating you? many i bet.
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Honestly your husband appears to be selfish, self-absorbed, and frankly creepy.
If a man loves you, he’s going to try and bend over backwards to make you happy. He should be doing whatever it is that you need to feel better not only about yourself, but your marriage.
From everything you’ve written, your marriage appears to be a one way street.
If you are finding yourself in this predicament because he can’t be good to you during the holidays that are meaningful to you, and if he can’t spend time with your family too; then there’s something wrong with him.
Selfishness comes to mind first. I could be wrong there.
The depression you’re going through appears to be your feeling unloved, disrespected and either ignored, taken advantage of or taken for granted.
If you want to feel better not only as a mom, but as a woman and as a wife, then you’re going to have to confront your husband about his behavior towards you. If he can’t change his behavior and start showing you some respect, love, affection and consideration then perhaps you two should not be married.
I hate to say this but if it keeps going like this you’re either going to be tempted to have an affair, or you’re just going to end up divorcing him.
Now there could be other factors in play here. Maybe he thinks you’re using him. Maybe. But there’s more to this on his side of the coin and so the two of you need to work it out.
You can try marriage counseling and see where that takes the two of you. But it seems to me he’s not being open to you, and you’re trying to be open to him and he’s shutting you out.
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You need some counselling – sooner rather than later.
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